Forgiveness: The liberating madness of the impossible

Source: Derrida's paradox: When forgiveness becomes a transaction

"Forgiveness is not, and should not be, normal, normative, or comforting. If I forgive you because 'you deserve it', because you have paid your debt, or because it is 'logical' - I am not forgiving you at all... True forgiveness, if there is such a thing, must be forgiveness of the unforgivable. It must be a madness of the impossible."

(Jacques Derrida, "On Cosmopolitanism and Forgiveness", 2001)

Explanation: Reverse logic: Why true forgiveness must be impossible

Derrida presents a logical paradox that shakes the Western world. If there is a reason to forgive (the perpetrator paid damages, Germany paid reparations, the husband bought flowers), then it is not "forgiveness" at all, but an economic transaction. Pure forgiveness, forgiveness as grace, exists only when there is no reason to forgive; when the deed is monstrous and irreversible. The only condition for forgiveness to exist is that it is impossible and illogical.

Perspective: The price of forgiveness: Who pays, and who walks away free?

In Derrida's forgiveness, only one side pays in hard currency: the victim. The perpetrator is not a party to the forgiveness; he is not required to pay any price, and perhaps he might as well strike the other cheek too, since the forgiveness would then be even greater and more profound. There is no need to ask for forgiveness, only to grant it, freely, unconditionally, just to be a free person, to break free from resentment. As many have quipped: in the future, as the prophet Isaiah promised (chapter 11), the wolf will dwell with the lamb, but even then it is best to be the wolf, just in case. Is it better to be strong, or forgiving? Is it truly right for forgiveness to carry no mutual price?

Going Deeper: Your abundant mercies: Jewish forgiveness between grace and price

During the days of Selichot (penitential prayers), we recite the words of Daniel (9:18): "We do not present our supplications before You based on our righteousness, but on Your abundant mercies." This is the simple acknowledgment that we have no legal argument. The plea is for an unearned gift, an act that transcends the laws of cause and effect. Divine forgiveness, like human forgiveness, must stem from ra'ava de-ra'avin—the Kabbalistic "will of all wills," a realm beyond reason, pure goodwill. And yet, Jewish forgiveness is granted only to one who seeks it; it demands humility and a genuine desire for atonement—it is not free. The Talmud (Bava Kamma, chapter HaHovel) makes a groundbreaking suggestion: only after compensation, an apology, and healing are complete does the victim pray for God to forgive the perpetrator.

Culture: Eva Kor and Mengele: When forgiveness liberates the victim

The documentary Forgiving Dr. Mengele. Eva Kor, a twin who survived Mengele's experiments, decided one day to forgive the Nazis unilaterally. She did not do so because they asked or changed, but as a liberating act of "madness." The fierce backlash she faced from other survivors ("forgiveness died in the death camps") proves Derrida's point: her forgiveness was so illogical that it shook the moral foundations. Kor emphasized that she did this out of a need to sever ties with Mengele, whom she had chased for decades, and to finally break free from Auschwitz—certainly not for the sake of the oppressor.