Family: Between first nature and second nature—who really educates our children?

Source: Aristotle's theory of education through habit

For virtue (Virtue) deals with pleasures and pains; because of pleasure we do bad deeds, and because of pain we refrain from noble deeds. Therefore, we must be educated in a certain way from our early youth, as Plato says, so that we rejoice and also feel pain in the things that are appropriate [to rejoice and feel pain in]; for this is the correct education.

Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics, Book II, Chapter 3)

Explanation: Family and society: An essential partnership in shaping the person

Aristotle's ethics, like Plato's, begins with the family unit, where a child's character is shaped to become a productive member of society. Through the family, the child learns moral principles and grows into a worthy citizen. Yet, Aristotle adds, the family alone is not enough to provide a complete education, and so society also takes part in the child's social upbringing. For this, there are laws, social norms, public education, and social expectations. Parents do not hold an exclusive monopoly on education.

Perspective: When children are more educated than their parents: The price of progress

Until the modern era, most children were educated at home, learning by observing their parents, acquiring skills in tending the field and household as well as other crafts, and above all, passing down tradition. That home education was lacking; it did not allow for progress or new ideas, and was mainly geared toward making a living. Only a few, among the aristocracy, had the privilege of studying with a tutor—with the exception of the Jewish world, which established communal schools as early as the end of the Second Temple period, and the family lost its role as an educational agent. The result was—just like today wherever generational gaps exist—that children felt superior to their parents.

Going Deeper: A father's discipline and a mother's teaching: The biblical division of education

In the Book of Proverbs, chapter 1, verse 8, appears the famous instruction: "Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother." King Solomon places upon parents the obligation to educate: the father provides discipline, and the mother teaching. According to the Vilna Gaon, Rabbi Elijah of Vilna, discipline (mussar) means principles, rules, duties, and clear enforcement, akin to the "Written Torah," while teaching (torah) is interpretation, realism, compassion, and loving-kindness, akin to the "Oral Torah."

Culture: Yehuda Amichai's father: A god who didn't know

My father was God and did not know it. He gave me

the Ten Commandments not in thunder and not in fury, not in fire and not in cloud,

but with gentleness and with love. And he added caresses and added kind words,

and added "please" and added "I beg of you." And he sang remember and observe

in a single melody, and pleaded and wept quietly between commandment and commandment:

Do not take the name of your God in vain, do not take it, not in vain,

please, do not bear false witness against your neighbor. And he hugged me tight and whispered in my ear:

Do not steal, do not commit adultery, do not murder. And he placed his open hands

upon my head in the Yom Kippur blessing: Honor, love, so that your days may be long

upon the earth. And my father's voice was white like the hair on his head.