Honor: The sacred distance that enables a true encounter

Source: The speaking face: Honor as recognition of sacred presence

"The face is meaning in itself. It is not a phenomenon waiting for a definition, but a presence that transcends my sensory perception. When I stand before the face of the other, it turns to me and speaks to me, and in its speaking, it imposes a command upon me. The primary moral imperative arising from the face is: 'You shall not murder.' The face is the foundation of all respect, for it sets a limit to my power and reminds me that I am not alone in the world. Respect does not stem from an evaluation of the other's traits, but from the recognition of their very presence, which is sacred and irreducible. The moment the other looks at me, I become responsible for them; the nakedness and destitution of the other are what create their right to my respect and my duty to extend a hand to them."

(Emmanuel Levinas, "Ethics and Infinity", 1982)

Explanation: Protective distance: Honor as stopping before the invasion

Levinas returns honor to its biblical origin—awe. In contrast to a cynical, hugging, buddy-buddy culture, honor is founded on distance. The face of the other is territory that must not be conquered. The encounter with the other is dramatic because it sets a limit to my power; there is someone else. To honor someone is not to "love" them, but to stop before them. Only then, after the encounter with the face standing opposite, can one extend a hand.

Perspective: Awe and love: Why stepping back is the key to true relationships

Love without awe is an invasion. Parents who try to be "friends" with their children erase a protective hierarchy. The Jewish concept of mora (reverent awe, as in reverence for parents or reverence for the Temple) is not fear, but the recognition of a boundary. Distance is what makes sight possible; you cannot see a painting with your nose pressed against the canvas. Honor is the step back that allows the other to breathe and be themselves—foreign and distinct. It is worth noting that Levinas, living in France, describes a European world that strikes Israelis as distant and aloof. Indeed, honor toward the other is respect for their autonomy, but in Israel, autonomies can be shared—through an outstretched hand, a hug, and collective responsibility.

Going Deeper: Intuition of the image of God: Awe as recognition of hidden holiness

"Awe is a way of being in rapport with the mystery of all reality. The awe that we feel or ought to feel when standing in the presence of a human being is a moment of intuition for the 'divine image' which is latent in his essence. And not only man; even inanimate objects stand in a relation to the Creator. The secret of every being is the divine care and concern invested in it. Something sacred is at stake in every event.

Awe is an intuition for the creaturely dignity of all things and their preciousness to God; a realization that things not only are what they are but also stand, however remotely, for something absolute. Awe is a sense for the transcendence, for the reference everywhere to Him who is beyond all things."

(Abraham Joshua Heschel, God in Search of Man)

And so, at Mount Sinai it was said: "The people saw, and they trembled and stood at a distance." Revelation requires distance. Relationships that lack a dimension of "strangeness" and mystery turn into systems of control and collapse in upon themselves.

Culture: Death with honor: Socrates and Hanina ben Teradyon facing the decree

In a famous painting by Jacques-Louis David, the eighteenth- and nineteenth-century French artist, David depicts Socrates about to drink the cup of poison following the verdict declaring that he corrupts the youth. His disciples mourn, but he sits upright, his dignity preserved precisely through his agreement to abide by the law, and in doing so, triumph over the verdict that forbade him to teach. Like Socrates, the tanna (early rabbinic sage) Hanina ben Teradyon, who taught Torah despite the Roman ban, was executed by burning, his body wrapped in a Torah scroll (Babylonian Talmud, Avodah Zarah 18a).