Authenticity: The courage to take ownership of your life in a world of 'they'

Source: Living in the shadow of the 'they': Heidegger on everyday life

"We enjoy ourselves as 'they' (das Man) enjoy themselves; we read, see, and judge literature and art as 'they' see and judge... we even shrink back from the 'crowd' as 'they' shrink back. The 'they', which is nothing definite... dictates everyday being."

Heidegger, Being and Time, Section 27 [paraphrase] (1927)

Explanation: *Eigentlichkeit*: Owning who you are

Heidegger coined the term Eigentlichkeit (authenticity) in his book "Being and Time." The root of the word is eigen—"own," "belonging to me." Authenticity is not about "finding my true self," but about "owning who I am." Heidegger describes everyday life as a state of "das Man"—the "they": people live according to what "one does," what "they say," what is "customary." An inauthentic life is one in which decisions have already been made in advance by society, and the individual merely carries them out obediently. Authenticity requires "advancing toward death"—the awareness that we are finite, and therefore our choices matter existentially.

Perspective: The great escape: Why everyone is afraid to decide

Heidegger didn't mean authenticity in a Vipassana sense ("finding yourself"), but more like a wake-up call: "Decide who you are!" That's terrifying, because the moment you own your life, there is no one else to blame. The masses don't flee from authenticity out of weakness, but to avoid the unbearable question: "What do I really want?"

We see this escape everywhere: the student studying law just because someone needs to keep Dad's firm running; the couple getting divorced because "I need to be true to myself," just like all their friends who got divorced; or the endless scrolling on TikTok designed to silence the quiet in the room. In all these cases, we let "das Man" (the "they") pull our strings. It's comfortable, easy, and far less lonely.

It's worth remembering that Heidegger himself, the philosopher of personal responsibility, joined the Nazi Party in the 1930s—the ultimate example of someone surrendering to the spirit of the times, to the German "das Man" of that era. He knew how to write about authenticity, but when the moment of truth came, he failed to live it.

Going Deeper: Existential psychotherapy: What are you running from?

In existential psychotherapy, which draws on Heidegger and Sartre, the patient is asked not "What is causing your suffering?" but "What are you running from?" Therapy is not about "solving problems" but about "helping the person take responsibility for their choices, for the decisions about who they are." Yet this approach has also been mocked on the grounds that it is not a science, but largely a matter of emotions and subjectivity, beneficial only to elites and those with high cognitive ability. The ordinary person, critics argue, would struggle to invent a unique self.

Culture: *Marty Supreme*: Authenticity at the price of betrayal

In the film Marty Supreme (2025), the superb Timothée Chalamet plays a penniless, opportunistic, sharp-witted nobody who believes in his ability to become the best ping-pong player in the world. Marty will betray, steal, cheat, hurt, and do whatever it takes to be special. Only after reaching his goal will he discover that it is one giant anticlimax, and turn back to make amends and seek atonement.